It hurts.

Wow.... After hanging out with Anyla, Thatdamngood, Disintered, and Jellystar tonight, I realized something... I really am going to need my friends to support me during Chris' absence.By NO means am I saying ANYTHING negative about my relationship with Chris - we're pretty much engaged now. What I AM saying, though, is that not being able to see or hear from him hurts... My friends ease that pain somewhat.Yep - we are engaged!!!!!!!! He is waiting to formally propose upon his return!!! I have never been happier in my life; I must be the luckiest woman ever in existence.I have come to a realization... I have needed Chris all these years. Without him, I would not have made it through highschool... He helped me stay strong - helped me keep from losing hope... He made me feel like I wasn't just a freak that every jock wanted to kick the shit out of. I fell in love with him way back then...Over the next few years, we kept in touch - I believe I've told this story before. We fell out of touch for a while, but got back in touch and there were silent emotions between us. All in all, we've had emotions between one another for seven years now. I've loved him for all seven and he's wanted to be with me for at least the past two. I will be damned if I let this slip away - he is "The One". He is everything to me... Just as he told me a few days back that I am everything to him. I wouldn't have made it without him in the past... if I lose him, I will never love again... That is a simple fact that I am stating only to point out the truth... As monotonous as my previous statement may sound, some people say "I'll never love again" simply to say it... Those drama queens don't mean it... I, however, do mean it.Chris - You should have arrived there about 10-12 hours ago. Please be safe. I am with you always, baby. I love you so much... so much...Hearts,WinterPS - Yes, it makes sense: He makes me happier than I've ever been, but his absence depresses me.